How To Show And Not Tell When Writing Descriptive Passages In Your Manuscript

When it comes to writing short stories, novellas or novels one of the common challenges that writers face is the problem of knowing exactly how to write believable description, and descriptive passages that actually enhance your writing, rather than cause the reader to be distracted from the plot. The way in which a writer deals with describing characters and settings can be the difference between an average book and a bestseller, so it’s important that you get it right.
One of the most commonly used pieces of advice in relation to the issue of description is to show and not tell. As a writer you may have read this over and over again, but what does it actually mean? How does it look when you show rather than tell?
As an example the following passage uses descriptive language to tell the reader about the appearance of the woman and her surroundings.
“On a sunny day in October, the grey haired, old woman walked through the park, sat down on a wooden bench and huffed.”
From this sentence you are told exactly what the woman looks like, her age, where she is and what she’s doing but all of this information could also be obtained by showing the reader, as in the following example;
“The woman shuffled along through the sea of fallen leaves, as fast as her frail frame would allow her, she found a resting spot and expelled a thankful gust of cold air as she lowered herself down onto the bench; the hard surface felt awkward against her bony build but she didn’t mind, and as she sat lost in thought the crisp sunshine planted a warm ray on her bright white mane.”
The second extract may err too much on the side of show but is a good example of how ‘showing’ can add so much more to an extract than the straight forward ‘tell’ version. The reader captures the essence of the day, gets a sense of the character, and can begin to build an image from their own interpretation of the creative elements shown to them.
The only way to become versed at this process is to practice. Look back at some of your old writing and perhaps try to identify points where you have told the reader what to see rather than shown them, then, attempt to re-write the passage. It will certainly enhance your writing, and if this process can become second nature to you then you will stand a greater chance of writing a compelling and captivating story, and thus have greater chance of publishing success.