When you are single you may spend time wondering why you haven’t met the man or woman of your dreams. It is easy to find excuses for being single and the blame is usually put on situations and other people. Instead of blaming everything and everyone else, sometimes the reason for being single lies closer to home. People are often responsible for being single, even if they aren’t aware of it. There are some dating habits and behaviours that are the real cause for being single. The biggest problem is not being aware of the dating habits, so until you have identified them, you are more likely to stay single or have many unsuccessful dates.
Comparing new partners and relationships to past ones is the first mistake you can make. You must remember that your past relationships ended for a reason, so they can’t have been as perfect as you’d thought. Wanting a new relationship to be the same as past ones will only end in disaster. Everyone is different which makes dating new people exciting, so trying to mould your new partner to be just like your ex isn’t a good idea. Look at it from another angle; it’s not fair on your new partner if you constantly compare them to your ex. Whether they are aware of it or not, it isn’t fair and no matter how much you want them to be like your ex, they never will as they are a completely different person with their own unique personality.
Quite a large proportion of singles tend to remember only the negative parts from previous relationships and have unintentionally learnt to associate them with dating and relationships. If you constantly think about the difficult times, the hurtfulness and sadness you felt with previous relationships, this negativity will have an impact on finding a date. Potential partners risk being scared off by your overpowering negativity. Also, believing your new partner will resolve all your problems in life is another bad dating habit that people make. Not only does this put pressure on your new partner and your new relationship, it will lead to disappointment as a new relationship is not the cure to your problems.
Desperation is a key reason for being single. Feeling like time is running out on you to settle down, get married and have children is immense pressure to put upon yourself. Entering a relationship with this pressure playing on your mind is not healthy. You risk scaring away your partner resulting in another failed relationship.
If you have no problems finding a new partner, but you only seem to go on one date, then another problem could be the type of person you choose to date. Unintentionally many people are attracted to potential partners who are incompatible with them, but for some reason they are drawn towards them. These potential partners are unable to meet your emotional requirements and therefore the relationship is set to fail. Dating people who are incompatible with you will lead to many unsuccessful dates.
You may be familiar with some of these dating habits and whether you have one or even all of them, you can change your dating life around and overcome them. By acknowledging your feelings towards dating you will have made the first step in overcoming your bad dating habits. The aim is to relieve yourself from these feelings and beliefs towards dating, which are preventing you from finding your perfect partner. If you believe that one day a knight in shining armour will come along and rescue you, then you may be waiting for a very long time. It is time to be realistic and accept the fact that this is not likely to happen.
When a relationship ends people often can’t get it out of their mind and constantly think about the past. Being stuck in the past can have a major impact when dating. It may not just be negative feelings about your dating experience that you hold on to; you may constantly think about other areas in your life that you have had issues with. Carrying these emotions around is destructive in the dating world. Instead of thinking about the past with pessimistic views, try to focus on the future and let go of past worries and thoughts. This may sound easy to say, but putting it into practice can be a little more time consuming. If possible, try to imagine the life you would like to have in the future. Visualise your ideal life and every time you feel yourself starting to think about bad tines in the past, change your thoughts and concentrate on your ideal life. Thinking positively can go a long way, and not just with dating. Positive thinking is apparent to others, which in itself is an attractive feature to potential dates. Letting go of the past doesn’t mean you need to forget and regret every past relationship you’ve had, just let go of the bad times and try to concentrate on the happy times, which in itself will help you regain an optimistic outlook on dating and relationships.
Keep in mind that it will take time to relieve yourself from your bad dating habits, but always remember the reason for doing so. The aim is to achieve a positive outlook with dating and relationships, enjoy every moment of life, and most importantly being happy. There are no rules to say you must meet your ideal partner by a certain date in life, you are the only person doing that. Once you accept that you can’t rush things in life, especially love and relationships, you need to make sure that you enjoy every single minute of finding your perfect partner.
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