On Writing – The Overuse Of Adjectives And The Problems They Create

It seems as though everyone has had an English teacher in high school who wanted things described in the most florid terms possible. This enthusiasm for abundant description was often championed in college too, and we commonly read material from MFA superstars that illustrates dogged determination to accentuate every noun with some form of embellishment. The cold, hard fact is that writers are warned against adverbs, while adjectives don’t evoke anywhere near the same level of disdain. But adjectives are just as detrimental to quality prose as their routinely maligned counterpart.
The Rules That Apply to Adverbs Also Pertain to Adjectives
The same as the “correct” verb’s eliminating the need for an adverb, the “right” noun does not require adumbration. In describing an Amazon, is it necessary to state that it is a large woman with ferocious tendencies? Doesn’t the word “Amazon” convey all of this by itself? This excessive rhetoric is comparable to writing that skilled carpenters have built fabulous domiciles in Italy. How about many estates in Italy were built by artisans? Of course an Amazon and a carpenter can indeed be accentuated, but in the examples does either benefit from the modifier?
“Very” and “Much”
I’ve never had the problem with “very” and “much” that some educators profess (but I’m not an educator either, ha ha). I believe something can indeed be “very” good and we can all do with “much” more of something, like money, but the elimination test should always be utilized before using either of these words. Simply, read the sentence, clause, or word with and without the respective adjective. If the message does not read appreciably better with the adjective, omit the modifier.
When Are Adjectives Not Necessary?
The strength of the nouns in a passage can have everything to do with whether or not an adjective adds to the message. Take a look at the following: “A big gray German shepherd chased after an agile young man with blond hair who was wielding a black Louisville Slugger baseball bat and had just robbed the elderly Armenian owner of the Mini-Mart grocery store on Waverly Street.” Now read this: “A dog chased a man who had robbed a grocer.” It’s up to the writer to determine to what degree each noun needs further adumbration.
Is the dog important to the story? If so, does the reader need to know it was a German shepherd? What about its color or size? A big German shepherd could be chasing the crook just as well as a German shepherd. Or a big gray dog might be important, since a big gray dog of undetermined breed (should it not be known to be a German shepherd) might have been “policing” the neighborhood. Or the German shepherd could be owned by the grocer and everyone on the block knew of this animal, and that it always protected its owner. Apply this exercise to all of the adjectives in that bloated sentence to determine the way you think it should read, based on your interpretation of the scene.
As With the Strength of the Noun, the Significance of the Noun Determines the Necessity of an Adjective
I have often cited this horrible sentence I read in a book published by a Big 6 imprint in the mid ’90s: “He held a green garden hose as the yellow taxicab came up the concrete driveway.” Has there ever been a more over-written sentence? “He held a hose as the taxi came up the driveway” is all that’s needed.
Think about the green garden hose and ask yourself if a garden hose is ever thought to be any other color. And even though taxis come in a rainbow of colors, unless this one was other than yellow, isn’t this the color most people associate with a cab? Finally, unless a driveway is full of potholes, or there is some compelling reason to discuss its composition, why would it be necessary to mention the material from which it was constructed?
Find the Best Nouns and Use Them
For all of the antediluvian mishmash in many of our old primers, this is one maxim that’s incontrovertible. Think of all the single words that could be used to describe a big mean dog. “Cujo” was the consensus when I asked this of some grade-schoolers a while ago. But there’s always Hellhound, or the original Hellhound itself, Cerberus. Even the word “beast” can be the ideal word choice in many settings.
Trim a Draft of Every Adjective and Then Replace Only Those That Are Essential
I’ve suggested this to my clients as well as to those folks for whom I critique their opening chapters as a service. If a writer will take out every adjective and then go back through the draft and replace only those modifiers that are deemed crucial to the sentences in which they originally appeared, the narrative will be tighter and a better read. Always!