Addiction and alcohol dependency aren’t only a question of curing the addict or alcoholic, the family should also acknowledge their pain and find help.
As Al-Anon states, family members and friends are relieved and surprised when they understand they didn’t cause the addiction to alcohol, and also that they cannot cure it and they aren’t able to control it.
Households with a alcoholic or substance abuser becomes dysfunctional and declines into turmoil and crisis. It is no longer a well-balanced healthy system. As the addiction progresses the whole family also will become unwell: socially, monetarily, mentally, emotionally and even physically – with poor health and wellbeing resulting from a variety of stress-related difficulties.
Spiritually there is a loss of hope along with an end to happiness. Family members are unable to distinguish the illness from the individual they love, so there is a clash between caring for the substance abuser and holding them in contempt. A setting of trust, courtesy, respect, love and kindness is replaced with one of mistrust, fear, betrayal, gloominess and cynicism.
Co-dependency develops as a reaction to the disorderly circumstances in the household of the alcoholic/drug addict and creates harmful patterns of relating and behavior. Commonly co-dependents develop compulsions of their own and a loss of control much like that of the substance abuser.
Dysfunctional feelings, thinking and reactions between family members and the alcoholic or drug abuser start out as coping mechanisms to help the family members survive as they start suffering from profound emotional pain, however, these swiftly grow to be self-defeating. Co-dependency patterns normally include controlling, perfectionism, repression of feelings, oppressive rules, an absence of authentic intimacy, and behavioural obsessions, including working too much, over spending, eating too much, religiosity, or anything else.
Family units with members experiencing addiction or alcoholism also possess signs of denial. They fail to recognize the extent or progression of the issue. Types of denial include animosity, blame, lessening the condition, excuses, evasion and deflection. Denial blinds the alcoholic or substance abuser in addition to their family from acknowledging the simple truth.
Enabling is a very common solution to addiction that can take various forms. It makes it possible for the alcoholic or drug addict to avoid the aftermath of his or her alcohol and drug abuse and actions. The enabler is a friend or family member that attempts to help the alcoholic or drug addict and who’ll lie for and save the drug abuser or alcoholic from varied disasters. While the enabler may think he or she is assisting the individual with an chemical dependency the opposite is true. Enablers allow the illness of dependency to progress to even more critical levels.
I really believe the addicts recovery is dependent on their family’s recovery. For this reason treatment should include instructive and family group therapy sessions. Within this secure surrounding both the addict/alcoholic as well as the family can be supplied with a chance to start the healing of the periodically catastrophic results of their abusing drugs.
Self-care and the proper care of members of the family has to become the priority. Don’t allow the family life to be overshadowed from the negativity of addiction. Alcohol addiction and substance abuse can cause isolation, guilt and a sense of shame. By breaking the cycle of silence and denial both the chemically dependent and their family members can begin to understand, get rid of shame and process repressed emotions. The family can discover that everyone played a part in the addiction but, no one is responsible for creating it.
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